IVVENI LIA:
O R
C E R T
A I
N E
PARADOXES,
A N D
PROBLEMES,
WRITTEN BY
I. DONNE.
LONDON,
Printed by E. P for Henry
Seyle, and are to be sold at the
signe of the Tygers head, in
Saint
Pauls Church-
yard, Anno Dom. 1633.
PARADOXES.
I. A Defence of
Womens Inconstancy.
II. That Women ought to
Paint.
III. That by Discord things
increase.
IV. That Good is more common
than
Euill.
V. That all things kill
themselues.
VI. That it is possible to
find
some vertue in some Women.
VII. That Old men are more
fantastike
than Young.
VIII. That Nature is our worst
guide.
IX. That only Cowards dare die.
X. That a Wise man is known by
much
laughing.
XI. That the gifts of the Body
are
better than those of the Minde.
PA RADOXES.
I.
A
Defence of Womens
Inconstancy.
Hat
Women are Inconstant, I with any man confesse, but that Inconstancy
is a bad quality, I against any man will maintaine: For euery thing as
it is one better than another, so it it fuller of change; The Heauens
themselues continually turne, the Starres moue, the Moone
changeth; Fire
whirleth, Aire flyeth, Water ebbs and flowes, the face
of
the Earth altereth her lookes, time staies not; the
Colour
that is most light will take most dyes: soe in Men, they that haue the
most reason are the most intolerable in their designes and the darkest
or most ignorant, doe seldomest change; therefore Women changing more
than
Men, haue also more Reason. Thye cannot be immutable like
stockes,
like stones, like the Earths dull Center; Gold that lyeth still,
rusteth;
Water, corrupteth; Aire that moueth not, poysoneth; then why should
that
which is the perfection of other things, be imputed to Women as the
greatest
imperfection? Because thereby they deceiue men. Are not your wits
pleased
with those iests, which coozen your expectation? You can call it
Pleasure
to be beguild in troubles, and in the most excellent toy in the world,
you call it Treacherie: I would you had your Mistresses so
constant,
that they would neuer change, no not so much as their smocks,
then
should you see what sluttish vertue, Constancy were. Inconstancy
is a most commendable and cleanly quality, and Women in this quality
are
farre more absolute than the Heauens, than the Starres, Moone, or any
thing
beneath it; for long obseruation hath pickt certainty out of their
mutability.
The Learned are so well acquainted with the Starrs, Signes and Planets,
that they make them but Characters, to read the meaning of the Heauen
in
his owne forehead. Euery simple Fellow can bespeake the change of the Moone
a great while beforehand: but I would faine haue the learnedst man so
skilfull,
as to tell when the simplest Woman meaneth to varie. Learning affords
no
rules to know, much less knowledge to rule the mind of a Woman: For as Philosophy
teacheth us, that Light things do alwayes tend vpwards and heauy
things decline downeward; Experience teacheth vs otherwise, that
the
disposition of a Light Woman, is to fall downe, the nature of Women
being
contrary to all Art and Nature. Women are like Flies, which
feed
among vs at our Table, or Fleas sucking our very blood, who
leaue
not our most retired places free from their familiarity, yet for all
their
fellowship will they neuer be tamed nor commanded by vs. Women are like
the Sun, which is violently carried one way, yet hath a proper
course
contrary: so though they, by the mastery of some ouer-ruling churlish
hasbands,
are forced to his Byas, yet haue they a motion of their owne, which
their
husbands neuer know of. It is the nature of nice and fastidious minds
to
know things onely to be weary of them: Women by their slye changeablenesse,
and pleasing doublenesse, preuent euen the mislike of those, for they
can
neuer be so well knowne, but that there is still more vnknowne. Euery
Woman
is a Science; for he that plods vpon a Woman all his life long,
shall at length find himselfe short of the knowledge of her: they are
borne
to take downe the pride of wit, and Ambition of wisdome, making fooles
wise in the aduenturing to winne them, wisemen fooles in
conceit
of losing their labours; witty men starke mad, being confounded
with their vncertainties. Philosophers write against them for
spite,
not desert, that hauing attained to some knowledge in all other things,
in them onely they know nothing, but are meerely ignorant: Actiu
and Experienced men raile against them, because they loue in
ther
liuelesse & decrepit age, when all goodnesse leaues them. These
enuious Libellers
ballad against them, because hauing nothing in themselues able to
deserue
their loue, they maliciously discommend al they cannot obtaine,
thinking
to make men beleeue they know much, because they are able to dispraise
much, and rage against Inconstancy, when they were neuer
admitted
into so much fauour as to bee forsaken. In mine Opinion such Men are
happy
that Women are Inconstant, for so may they chance to be beloued
of some excellent Women (when it comes to their turne) out of their Inconstancy
and mutability though not out of their owne desert. And what reason is
there to clog any Woman with one Man, be he neuer so singular? Women
had
rather, and it is farre better and more Iudiciall to enioy all the
vertues
in seuerall Men, than but some of them in one, for otherwise they lose
their taste, like diuerse sorts of meate minced together in one dish:
and
to haue all excellencies in one man (if it were possible) is Confusion
and Diuersity. Now who can deny, but such as are obstinately
bent
to vndervalue their worth, are those that haue not soule enough to
comprehend
their excellency, Women being the most excellentest Creatures, in that
Man is able to subiect all things else, & to grow wise in euery
thing,
but still persists a foole in Woman? The greatest Scholler if
he
once take a wife, is found so vnlearned, that must begin his Hornebooke,
and all is by Inconstancy. To conclude therefore; this name of Inconstancy,
which hath so much beene poisoned with slaunders, ought to be
changed
into variety, for the which the world is so delightfull, and a
Woman
for that the most delightfull thing in this world.
II.
That
Women ought
to Paint.
Oulenesse
is Lothsome: can that be so which helpes it? who forbids his
beloued
to gird her wast? to burnish her teeth? Or to perfume her breath? yet
that
the Face be more precisely regarded, it concernes more: for the
secret parts needs the lesse respect; but of the Face,
discouered
to all Examinations and suruayes, there is not too nice a Ialousie. Nor
doth it onely draw the busy eyes, but it is subject to the diuinest
touch
of all, to kissing, the strange and mysticall vnion of soules.
If
she should prostitute her selfe to a more vnworthy Man than thy selfe,
how earnestly and iustly wouldst thou exclaime? that for want of this
easier
and ready way of repairing, to betray her body to ruine & deformity
(the tyrannous Rauishers, and sodaine deflourers of all
Women)
what a heynous Adultery is it? What thou louest in her face is colour,
and painting giues that, but thou hatest it, not because it is,
but because thou knowest it. Foole, whom Ignorance makes happy, the
Starres,
the Sunne, the Skye whom thou admirest, alas, haue no colour,
but
are faire because they seeme to be coloured: if this seeming will not
satisfie
thee in her, thou hast good assurance of her colour, when thou
seest
her lay it on. If her face be painted on a
Boord or
Wall, thou wilt loue it, and the Boord, and the Wall: Canst thou loath
it then when it speakes, smiles, and kisses, because it is painted? Are
wee not more delighted with seeing Birds, Fruites, and Beasts painted
than wee are with naturalls? And doe wee not with pleasure behold the painted
shape of monsters and Diuells, whom true, wee durst not regard? Wee
repaire
the ruines of our houses, but first cold tempests warnes vs of it, and
bytes vs through it; wee mend the wracke and staines of our Apparell,
but
first our eyes, and other bodies are offended, but by this prouidence
of
Women, this is preuented. If in kissing or breathing
vpon
her, the painting fall off, thou art angry, wilt thou bee so,
if
it sticke on? thou didst loue her, if thou beginnest to hate her, then
'tis because shee is not painted. If thou wilt say now, thou
didst
hate her before, thou didst hate her and loue her together, be constant
in something, and loue her who shewes her great loue to thee,
in
taking the paines to seeme louely to thee.
III.
That by
Discord
things increase.
Nullos esse
Deos inane
Coelum
Affirmat Coelius,
probatq; quod
se
Factum vidit, dum negat
hæc,
beatum.
O
I asseuere this the more boldly, because while I maintaine it,
and
feele the Contrary repugnancies and adverse fightings
of
the Elements in my Body, my Body increaseth; and whilst I
differ
from common opinions by the Discord, the number of my Paradoxes
increaseth. All the rich benefits we can frame to our selues in Concord,
is but an Euen conseruation of things; in which Euennesse
wee can expect no change, no motion; therefore no increase or
augmentation,
which is a member of Motion. And if this vnitie and peace
can giue increase to things, how mightily is discord
and warre
to that purpose, which are indeed the onely ordinary Parents of
Peace. Discord is neuer so barren that it affords
no fruit; for
the fall
of one estate is at the worst the inceaser of another, because
it
is as impossible to find a discommodity without aduantage,
as to find Corruption without Generation: But it is the
Nature
and Office of Concord to preserue onely, which
property
when it leaues, it differs from it selfe, which is the greatest discord
of all. All victories & Emperies gayned by warre,
and
all Iudiciall decidings of doubts in peace, I doe claime
children
of Discord. And who can deny but Controuersies in Religion
are growne greater by discord, and not the Controuersie, but Religion
it selfe: For in a troubled misery Men are alwaies more Religious
than in a secure peace. The number of good men, the
onely
charitable nourishers of Concord, wee see is thinne, and daily
melts
and waines; but of bad discording it is infinite, & growes
hourely.
Wee are ascertained of all Disputable doubts onely by arguing
and
differing in Opinion, and if formall disputation (which
is
but a painted, counterfeit, and dissembled discord) can worke
vs
this benefit, what shall not a full and maine discord
accomplish?
Truly me thinkes I owe a deuotion, yea a sacrifice to discord,
forecasting that Ball vpon Ida, and for all that
businesse
of Troy, whom ruin'd I admire more than Babylon, Rome,
or Quinzay, remoued Corners, not only fufilled with her
fame,
but with Citties and Thrones planted by her Fugitiues.
Lastly, betweene Cowardice and dispaire, Valour
is
gendred; and so the Discord of Extreames begets all
vertues,
but of the like things there is no issue without a miracle:
Uxor pessima,
pessimus
maritus
Miror tam malè
conuenire.
He wonders that betweene two
so like,
there could be any discord, yet perchance for all this Discord
there was nere the lesse Increase.
IV.
That
good is more
common than euill.
Haue not beene so pittifully tired with any vanity, as with
silly old
Mens exclaiming against these times, and extolling their owne:
Alas!
they betray themselues, for if the times bee changed,
their
manners haue changed them. But their senses are to pleasures,
as sicke
Mens tastes are to Liquors; for indeed no new thing
is
done in the world; all things are what, and as they were, and Good
is as euer it was, more plenteous, and must of necessity bee more
common
than Euill, because it hath this for nature and perfection to bee common.
It makes Loue to all Natures, all, all affect it. So
that
in the Worlds early Infancy, there was a time when
nothing
was Euill, but if this World shall suffer dotage
in
the extreamest Crookednesse thereof, there shalbe no time when
nothing
shall bee good. It dares appeare and spread, and glister in the
World,
but Euill buries it selfe in the night and darkenesse, and is
chastised
and suppressed when Good is cherished and rewarded. And as Imbroderers,
Lapidaries, and other Artisans, can by all things
adorne
their workes; for by adding better things, the better they shew in Lust
and in Eminency; so Good doth not onely prostrate her Amiablenesse
to all, but refuses no end, no not of her vtter contrary Euill,
that she may bee the more common to vs. For Euill manners
are Parents of good Lawes; and in euery Euill
there
is an excellency, which (in common speech) we call good.
For the fashions of habits, for our mouing in gestures,
for
phrases in our speech, wee say they were good as long
as
they were vsed, that is, as long as they were common; and wee
eate,
wee walke, onely when it is, or seemes, good to doe so. All faire,
all profitable, all vertuous, is good, and these three
things
I thinke embrace all things, but their vtter contraries; of
which
also faire may be rich and vertuous; poore,
may bee vertuous and faire; vitious, may be faire
and rich; so that Good hath this good meanes to be co[m]mon,
that some subiects she can possesse entirely; and in subiects poysoned
with Euill, she can humbly stoope to accompany the Euill.
And of Indifferent things many things are become perfectly good
by being Common, as Customes by vse are made binding
Lawes.
But I remember nothing that is therefore ill, because it is
Common,
but Women, of whom also; They that are most Common, are the
best
of that Occupation they professe.
V.
That all
things
kill themselues.
O
affect, yea to effect their owne death, all liuing
things
are importun'd, not by Nature onely which perfects them, but by
Art
and Education, which perfects her. Plants quickened and
inhabited
by the most vnworthy soule, which therefore neither will
nor worke, affect an end, a perfection, a death;
this they spend their spirits to attaine, this attained, they languish
& wither. And by how much more they are by mans Industry
warm'd,
and cherished, and pampered; so much the more early they climbe to this
perfection,
this death. And if amongst Men not to defend be
to kill, what a haynous selfe-murther is it,
not to defend
it selfe. This defence because Beasts neglect, they kill
themselues,
because they exceed vs in number, strength, and a lawlesse
liberty:
yea, of Horses and other beasts, they that inherit most
courage
by being bred of gallantest parents, and by Artificiall
nursing
are bettered, will runne to their owne deaths, neither
sollicited
by spurres which they need not, nor by honour which
they
apprehend not. If then the valiant kill himselfe, who can
excuse
the coward? Or how shall Man bee free from this, since
the first
Man taught vs this, except we cannot kill our selues, because he
kill'd
vs all. Yet lest something should repaire this Common ruine,
wee
daily kill our bodies with surfets, and our minds
with Anguishes. Of our powers, remembring kills
our memory; Of Affections, Lusting our lust;
of vertues, Giuing
kills Liberality. And if these things kill themselues, they doe
it in their best and supreme perfection: for after perfection
immediately followes excesse, which changeth the natures &
the
names, and makes them not the same things. If then the best things kill
themselues soonest, (for no Affection endures, and all things
labour
to this perfection) all trauell to their owne death,
yea
the frame of the whole World, if it were possible for God
to be idle, yet because it began, must dye.
Then in
this idlenesse imagined in God, what could kill the World
but it selfe, since out of it, nothing is?
VI.
That it
is possible
to find some vertue in some Women.
Am not of that fear'd Impudence
that I dare defend Women, or pronounce them good; yet wee see Physitians
allow some vertue in euery poyson. Alas! why should we
except Women?
since certainly, they are good for Physicke at least, so as
some wine
is good for a feauer. And though they be the Occasioners
of many sinnes, they are also the Punishers and Reuengers
of the same sinnes: For I haue seldome seene one which consumes his substance
and body upon them, escape diseases, or beggery;
and
this is their Iustice. And if suum cuiq; dare, bee the
fulfilling
of all Ciuill Iustice, they are most iust, for they
deny
that which is theirs to no man.
Tanquam non liceat
puellanegat.
And who may doubt of great
wisdome,
in them, that doth but obserue with how labour and cunning our Iusticers
and other dispensers of the Lawes study to imbrace
them:
and how zealously our Preachers dehort men from them, only by
vrging
their subtilties, and policies, and wisdome,
which
are in them? Or who can deny them a good measure of Fortitude,
if
he co[n]sider how valiant men they haue ouerthrowne, &
being
themselues ouerthrown how much, and how patiently they beare?
And
though they be most intemperate I care not, for I vndertooke to
furnish them with some vertue, not with all. Necessity,
which
makes euen bad things good, preuailes also for them, for wee must say
of
them, as of some sharpe pinching Lawes; If men were free from infirmities,
they were needlesse. These or none must serue for reasons, and
it
is my great happinesse that Examples proue not rules,
for
to confirme this Opinion, the World yeelds not one Example.
VII.
That Old
men are
more fantastique than Young.
HO
reades this Paradoxe but thinks me more Fantastike now,
than
I was yesterday, when I did not thinke thus: And if one day make this
sensible
change in men, what will the burthen of many yeares? To bee fantastique
in young men is conceiptfull distemperature, and a witty
madnesse; but in old men, whose senses are withered, it
becomes naturall,
therefore more full and perfect. For as when we sleepe our fancy
is most strong; so it is in Age, which is a slumber of
the deepesleepe
of death. They taxe vs of Inconstancy, which in themselues young
they allowed; so that reproouing that which they did reprooue, their Inconstancy
exceedeth ours, because they haue changed once more than wee.
Yea,
they are more idly busied in conceited Apparell than wee; for
we,
when we are Melancholy, wee are blacke; when lusty,
Greene;
when forsaken, Tawney; pleasing our owne inward
affections,
leauing them to others indifferent; but they presecribe lawes,
and
constraine the Noble, the Scholler, the Merchant,
and all Estates to a certaine habit. The Old men of our
time
haue changed with patience their owne bodies, much of their lawes,
much of their languages; yea their Religion, yet they
accuse
vs. To be amorous is proper and naturall in a Yong
man,
but in an old man most fantastike. And that ridling
humour
of Iealousie, which seekes and would not find, which requires
and
repents his knowledge, is in them most common, yet most fantastike.
Yea, that which falls neuer in young men, is in them most fantastike
and naturall, that is, Couetousnesse; euen at their iourneyes
end to make great prouision. Is any habit of young men
so fantastike, as in the hottest seasons to be double-gowned
or hooded like our Elders? Or seemes it so ridiculous
to weare long haire, as to weare none. Truly, as among the Philosophers,
the Skeptike, which doubts all, was more contentious,
than
either the Dogmatike which affirmes, or Academike which
denyes
all; so are these vncertaine Elders, which both calls them fantastike
which follow others inuentions, and them also which are led by
their
owne humorous suggestion, more fantastike than other.
VIII.
That
Nature is our
worst Guide.
Hall
she be guide to all Creatures, which is her selfe one?
Or
if she also haue a guide, shall any Creature haue a
better
guide than wee? The affections of lust and anger, yea
euen
to erre is Naturall; shall we follow these? Can she be
a
good guide to vs, which hath corrupted not vs but only
herselfe?
Was not the first man by the desire of knowledge
corrupted
euen in the whitest integrity of Nature? And did not Nature
(if Nature did any thing) infuse into him this desire of knowledge,
& so this Corruption in him, into vs? If by Nature
we
shall vnderstand our essence, our definition, or reason,
noblenesse, then this being alike common to all (the Idiot
and
the wizard being equally reasonable) why should not all
men
hauing equally all one nature, follow one course? Or if wee
shall
vnderstand our inclinations; alas! how vnable a guide is that
which
followes the temperature of our slimie bodies? for we
cannot
say that we deriue our inclinations, our mindes, or soules
from our Parents by any way: to say that it is all, from all,
is errour in reason, for then with the first nothing
remaines;
or is a part from all, is errour in experience,
for
then this part equally imparted to many children, would like Gauell-kind
lands, in few generations become nothing; or say it by Communication,
is errour in Diuinity, for to communicate the ability
of communicating whole essence with any but God, is vtterly blasphemy.
And if thou hit thy Fathers nature and inclination, hee
also
had his Fathers, and so climbing vp, all comes of one man, all haue one
nature,
all shall imbrace one course; but that cannot be, therefore our Complexions
and whole Bodies, we inherit from parents; our inclinations
and mindes follow that: For our mind is heauy in our bodies
afflictions,
and reioyceth in our bodies pleasure: how then shall this nature
gouerne vs, that is gouerned by the worst part of vs? Nature though
oft chased away, it will returne; 'tis true, but those good
motions
and inspirations which bee our guides must be wooed,
Courted, and welcomed,
or else they abandon vs. And that old Axiome, nihil inuita, &c.
must not be said thou shalt, but thou wilt doe nothing
against Nature;
so vnwilling he notes vs to curbe our naturall appetites.
Wee call our bastards alwayes our naturall issue, and
wee
define a Foole by nothing so ordinary, as by the name of Naturall.
And that poore knowledge whereby we conceiue what raine is,
what wind,
what Thunder, we call Metaphysicke, supernaturall;
such small things, such no things doe we allow to our
pliant Natures
apprehension. Lastly, by following her, wee lose the pleasant, and
lawfull Commodities
of this life, for we shall drinke water and eate rootes, and
those
not sweet and delicate, as now by Mans art and industry
they
are made: wee shall lose all the necessities of societie, lawes,
arts,
and sciences, which are all the workemanship of Man:
yea, we shall lacke the last best refuge of misery Death;
because no death is naturall: for if yee wil not dare
to
call all death violent (though I see not why sicknesses
be
not violences) yet causes of all deaths proceed
of
the defect of that which nature made perfect, and would
preserue,
and therefore all against nature.
IX.
That
only Cowards
dare Dye.
Xtreames
are equally remooued from the meane; so that headlong desperatenesse
asmuch offends true valour, as backward Cowardice: of
which
sort I reckon iustly all vn-inforced deaths. When will your valiant
man dye of necessity? so Cowards suffer what cannot be auoided:
and to runne into death vnimportun'd, is to runne into the
first
condemned desperatenesse. Will he dye when hee is rich and happy?
then by liuing hee may doe more good: and in Afflictions and miseries,
death is the chosen refuge of Cowards.
Fortiter isse
faoit, qui
miser esse potest.
But it is taught and practised
among
our Gallants, that rather than our reputations suffer any maime,
or wee any misery, wee shall offer our brests to the Cannons
mouth, yea to our swords points: And this seemes a very braue
and a very climbing (which is a Cowardly, earthly, and
indeed
a very groueling) spirit. Why doe they chaine
these
slaues to the Gallyes, but that they thrust their deaths,
& would at euery loose leape inito the sea? Why doe they
take
weapons from condemned men, but to barre them of that ease
which Cowards
affect, a speedy death. Truly this life is a Tempest
and a warfare, and he which dares dye, to escape the Anguish
of it, seemes to me, but so valiant, as he which dares hang
himselfe,
lest he bee prest to the wars. I haue seene one in that
extremity
of Melancholy, which was then become Madnesse, to make
his
owne breath an Instrument to stay his breath, and
labour
to choke himselfe; but alas, hee was mad. And we knew another
that
languished vnder the oppression of a poore disgrace so
much,
that he tooke more paines to dye, than would haue
serued
to haue nourished life and spirit enough to haue
out-liued
his disgrace. What Foole will call this Cowardlinesse,
Valour? Or this Basenesse, Humility? And lastly, of these
men
which dye the Allegoricall death of entring into Religion,
how few are found fit for any shew of valiancy? but onely a soft
and supple metall, made onely for Cowardly
solitarinesse.
X.
That a
Wise Man
is knowne by much Laughing.
Ide,
si sapis, ô puella ride; If thou beest wise, laugh:
for
since the powers of discourse and Reason, and laughter
bee equally proper vnto Man onely, why shall not he be onely
most wise, which hath most vse of laughing, aswell as
he which
hath most of reasoning and discoursing? I alwayes did,
and
shall vnderstand that Adage;
Per risum multum
possis cognoscerestultum,
that by much laughing
thou maist
know there is a Foole, not, that the laughers are Fooles,
but that among them there is some Foole at whom wisemen
laugh:
which moued Erasmus to put this as his first Argument
in
the mouth of his Folly, that she made Beholders laugh:
for fooles
are the most laughed at, and laugh the least themselues of any. And Nature
saw this faculty to be so necessary in Man, that she hath beene
content that by more causes we should be importuned to laugh,
than to the exercise of any other power; for things in
themselues
vtterly contrary, beget this effect; for we laugh both at witty
and absurd things: At both which sorts I haue seene Men laugh
so long, and so earnestly, that at last they haue wept
that they could laugh no more. And therefore the Poët
hauing
described the quietnesse of a wise retired man, saith
in
one, what we haue said before in many lines; Quid facit Canius
tuus?
ridet. We haue receiued that euen the Extremity of laughing,
yea of weeping also, hath beene accounted wisedome: And
that Democritus
and Heraclitus, the louers of these Extreames,
hath
beene called louers of wisedome. Now among our wisemen
I doubt not, but many would bee found who would laugh at Heraclitus
weeping, none which weepe at Democritus laughing. At the
hearing
of Comedies or other witty reports, I haue noted some,
which
not vnderstanding iests, &c. haue yet chosen this as the
best
meanes to seeme wise and vnderstanding, to laugh
when
their Companions laugh; and I haue presumed them ignorant,
whom I haue seene vnmoued. A Foole if he come into a Princes
Court, and see a Gay man leaning at the wall, so glistering,
and so painted in many colours, that he is hardly
discerned,
from one of the pictures in the Arras, hanging his body
like an Iron-bound-chest, girt in and thicke ribb'd with broad
gold laces, may (and commonly doth) enuy him. But alas; shall a wiseman,
which may not onely not enuy, but not pitty this monster,
doe nothing? Yes, let him laugh. And if one of these hot,
cholerike
fire-brands, which nourish themselues by quarrelling, and
kindling
others, spit vpon a foole one sparke of disgrace;
hee, like a thatcht house quickly burning, may be angry;
but the wise man, as cold as the Salamander,
may not
onely bee angry with him, but not be sorry for him;
therefore
let him laugh: so he shall bee knowne a Man, because
hee
can laugh; a wise Man that hee knowes at what
to laugh,
and a valiant Man that he dares laugh: for hee that laughs
is iustly reputed more wise, than at whom it is laughed.
And hence I thinke proceeds that which in these later formall
times
I haue much noted; that now when our superstitious Ciuility of manners
is become a mutuall tickling flattery of one another, almost
euery
man affecteth an humour of iesting, and is content to
be deiect,
and to deforme himselfe, yea become foole to no other
end
that I can spye, but to giue his wise Companion occasion to laugh;
and to shew themselues in promptnesse of laughing is so
great
in wisemen, that I thinke all wisemen, if any wisemen
doe read this Paradox, will laugh both at it and me.
XI.
That the
gifts of
the Body are better than those of the Minde.
Say againe, that the body makes the mind, not that it
created
it a minde, but formes it a good or a bad
mind;
and this mind may be confounded with soule without any
violence
or inustice to Reason or Philosophy: then the soule
it seemes is enabled by our body, not this by it. My Body
licenseth my soule to see the Worlds beauties
through
mine eyes; to heare pleasant things thorough mine eares;
and affords it apt Organs for the conueiance of all perceiuable
delight.
But alas! my soule cannot make any part, that is not of
it
selfe disposed, to see or heare, though without doubt
she
be as able & as willing to see behind as before.
Now
if my soule would say, that shee enables any part to tast these
pleasures,
but is her selfe onely delighted with those rich sweetnesses
which
her inward eyes and senses apprehend, shee should
dissemble;
for I see her often solaced with beauties, which she sees
through
mine eyes, and with musicke which through mine eares
she heares. This perfection then my body hath, that it
can
impart to my mind all his pleasures; and my mind
hath
still many, that she can neither teach my indisposed parts her faculties,
nor to the best espoused parts shew it beauty of Angells,
of Musicke, of Sphæres, whereof she boasts the Contemplation.
Are Chastity, Temperance, and Fortitude gifts of the mind?
I appeale to Physitians whether the cause of these be
not
in the body; health is the gift of the body,
and patience
in sicknesse the gift of the mind: then who will say that patience
is as good a happinesse, as health, when we must be extreamely miserable
to purchase this happinesse. And for nourishing of Ciuill
societies
and mutuall loue amongst Men, which is our chiefe end
while
wee are men; I say, this beauty, presence, and proportion
of the body, hath a more masculine force in begetting
this loue,
than the vertues of the mind: for it strikes vs suddenly,
and possesseth vs immoderately; when to know those vertues
requires some Iudgement in him which shall discerne, a long
time
and conuersation betweene them. And euen at last how
much
of our faith and beleefe shall wee bee driuen to
bestow,
to assure our selues that these vertues are not counterfeited:
for it is the same to be, and seeme vertuous, because
that
he that hath no vertue, can dissemble none, but
hee
which hath a little, may gild and enamell, yea
and
transforme much vice into vertue: For allow a man to be
discreet
and flexible to complaints, which are great vertuous
gifts
of the mind, this discretion will be to him the soule
and Elixer of all vertues, so that touched with this,
euen pride
shalbe made Humility; and Cowardice, honorable and wise
valour.
But in things seene there is not this danger, for the
body
which thou louest and esteemest faire, is faire;
certenly
if it be not faire in perfection, yet it is faire in the same degree
that thy Iudgment is good. And in a faire body, I doe
seldome
suspect a disproportioned mind, and as seldome hope for a good,
in a deformed. When I see a goodly house I assure my
selfe
of a worthy possessour, from a ruinous weather-beaten building
I
turne away, because it seemes either stuff'd with varlets as a prison,
or handled by an vnworthy and negligent Tenant, that so
suffers
the waste thereof. And truly the gifts of Fortune,
which are riches, are onely handmaides, yea Pandars
of the bodies pleasure; with their seruice wee nourish health,
and preserue dainty, and wee buy delights; so that vertue
which must bee loued for it selfe, and respects no further end,
is indeed nothing: And riches, whose end is the
good
of the body, cannot bee so perfectly good, as the end
whereto it leuells.
These
eleuen
Paradoxes, may bee
printed: this fiue and twentieth
of October, Anno Domini, one
thousand six hundred thirty and
two.
H E
N R Y H E R B E R
T.
_______________________________________
_______________________________________
CERTAINE
P ROB L E M S
W RI T T E
N
B Y
I.
D O N N
E.
_______________________________________
_______________________________________
THE
PROBLEMES.
I. Why haue
Bastards best
Fortunes?
II. Why Puritans make
long
Sermons?
III. Why did the
Diuell
reserue Iesuites till the latter Dayes?
IV. Why is there more
Variety
of Greene, than of any other Colour?
V. Why doe Young
Lay-men
so much study Diuinity?
VI. Why hath the
Common
Opinion afforded Women Soules?
VII. Why are the
Fairest
falsest?
VIII. Why Venus
Starre only doth cast a shadow?
IX. Why is Venus
Starre Multinominous, called both Hesperus and Vesper?
X. Why are new
officers
least oppressing?
_______________________________________
_______________________________________
P ROB L E M
E S.
I.
Why haue
Bastards
best Fortune?
S Nature
(which is lawes patterne) hauing denied women Constancy
to one,
hath prouided them with cunning to allure many, and so Bastards
de iure should haue better wits and experience. But
besides
that by experience wee see many fooles amongst them; we
should
take from them one of their chiefest helpes to preferment, and
we
should deny them to be fooles; and (that which is onely left)
that Women
chuse worthier men than their husbands is false de
facto,
either then it must be that the Church hauing remoued them from
all place in the publike seruice of God, they haue
better
meanes than others to bee wicked, and so fortunate: Or
else
because the two greatest powers in this world, the Diuell
and Princes concurre to their greatnesse; the one
giuing bastardye,
the other legitimation: As nature frames and conserues
great bodies
of Contraries. Or the cause is, because they abound most at Court,
which is the forge where fortunes are made; or at least the shop
where they be sold.
II.
Why
Puritans make
long Sermons?
T
needs not for perspicuousnesse, for God knowes they are plaine
enough:
nor doe all of them vse Sem-briefe-Accents for some of them
haue Crochets
enough. It may be they intend not to rise like glorious Tapers
and Torches,
but like thinne-wretched-sicke-watching-Candles, which languish
and are in a diuine Consumption from the first minute, yea in
their snuffe, and stinke when others are in their more
profitable glory. I haue thought sometimes that out of Conscience,
they
allow long measure to course Ware. And sometimes that vsurping
in that place a liberty to speake freely of Kings,
they would raigne as long as they could. But now I thinke they
doe
it out of a zealous Imagination, that, It is their duty to
preach
on till their Auditory wake.
III.
Why did
the Diuell
reserue Iesuites till these latter dayes.
ID
hee know that our Age would deny the Diuels possessing,
and
therefore prouided by these to possesse Men and kingdomes? Or
to
end the disputation of Schoolemen, why the Diuell
could not make lice in Ægypt; and whether those
things
he presented, there might be true, hath he sent vs a true
and reall plague, worse than those ten? Or in ostentation
of the greatnesse of his Kingdome, which euen diuision
cannot shake, doth he send vs these which disagree with
all
the rest? Or knowing that our times should discouer the Indies,
and abolish their Idolatry, doth he send these to giue them another
for it? Or peraduenture they haue beene in the Roman Church
these thousand
yeares though wee haue called them by other names.
IV.
Why is
there more
variety of Greene, than of other colours?
T
is because it is the figure of Youth, wherein Nature
would
prouide as many Greene, as Youth hath Affections;
and so present a Sea-greene for profuse wasters in voyages;
a Grasse-greene for sudden new men enobled from Grasiers;
and a Goose-greene for such Polititians as pretend to
preserue
the Capitoll. Or else Prophetically foreseeing an Age
wherein they shall all hunt. And for such as misse-demeane
themselues a willow-greene; For Magistrates must aswell
haue Fasces
borne before them to chastize the small offences, as Secures
to cut off the great.
V.
Why doe
young Lay-men
so much studie Diuinity.
S
it because others tending busilyChurches preferment neglect studie?
Or had the Church of Rome shut vp all our wayes, till
the Lutherans
broke downe their vttermost stubborne dores, and the Caluinists
picked their inwardest and subtlest lockes? Surely the Diuell
cannot be such a Foole to hope that hee shall make this study contemptible,
by making it common. Nor that as the Dwellers by the
riuer Origus
are said (by drawing infinite ditches to sprinckle their barren
Countrey) to haue exhausted and intercepted their maine channel,
and so lost their more profitable course to the Sea; so wee, by
prouiding euery ones selfe, diuinity enough for his owne vse,
should neglect our Teachers and Fathers. Hee cannot
hope
for better heresies than he hath had, nor was his Kingdome
euer so much aduanced by debating Religion (though with some aspersions
of Error) as by a Dull and stupid security, in
which
many grosse things are swallowed. Possible out of such an Ambition
as we haue now, to speake plainely and fellow-like with
Lords
and Kings, wee thinke also to acquaint our selues with Gods
secrets:
Or perchance when wee study it by mingling humane respects, It
is not Diuinity.
VI.
Why hath
the Common
Opinion afforded Women soules?
T
is agreed that wee haue not so much from them as any part of
either
our mortall soules of sense, or growth; and wee
deny soules
to others equall to them in all but in speech for which they
are
beholding to their bodily instruments: For perchance an Oxes
heart, or a Goates, or a Foxes, or a Serpents
would
speake iust so, if it were in the breast, and could moue that tongue
and Iawes. Haue they so many aduantages and meanes
to hurt vs (for, euer their louing destroyed vs) that we dare
not displease
them, but giue them what they will? And so when some call them Angells,
some Goddesses, and the Palpulian Heretickes make them Bishops,
wee descend so much with the streame, to allow them soules? Or
doe
we somewhat (in this dignifying of them) flatter Princes and great
personages that are so much gouerned by them? Or doe wee in
that easinesse, and prodigality, wherein wee daily lose
our
owne soules to wee care not whom, so labour to perswade our
selues,
that sith a woman hath a soule, a soule is no great
matter? Or doe we lend them soules but for vse,
since
they for our sakes, giue their soules againe, and their bodies
to boote? Or perchance because the Diuell (who is all soule)
doth most mischiefe, and for conuenience and proportion,
because they would come neerer him, wee allow them some soules,
and so as the Romans naturalized some Prouinces in
reuenge,
and made them Romans, onely for the burthen of the Commonwealth;
so wee haue giuen women soules only to make them capable of Damnation?
VII.
Why are
the Fairest,
Falsest?
Meane not of false AlchimyBeauty, for then the question
should
be inuerted, why are the Falsest, Fairest? It is not
only
because they are much solicited and sought for, so is gold,
yet it is not so common; and this suite to them, should
teach
them their value, and make them more reserued. Nor is
it
because the delicatest blood hath the best spirits, for
what
is that to the flesh? perchance such Constitutions haue the best
wits, and there is no proportionable subiect, for Womens
wit, but deceipt? doth the mind so follow the temperature
of the body, that because those Complexions are aprest to
change,
the mind is therfore so? Or as Bells of the purest metall retaine their
tinckling
and sound longest, so the memory of the last pleasure
lasts longer in these, and disposeth them to the next. But sure it is
not
in the Complexion, for those that doe but thinke
themselues faire,
are presently inclined to this multiplicity of loues,
which
being but faire in conceipt are false in deed: and so
perchance
when they are borne to this beauty, or haue made
it,
or haue dream'd it, they easily beleeue all Addresses
and Applications
of euery Man, out of a sense of their owne worthinesse
to bee directed to them, which others lesse worthy in their
owne
thoughts apprehend not, or discredit. But I thinke the true reason
is, that being like Gold in many properties (as that all
snatch
at them, but the worst possesse them, that they care not how deepe
we dig for them, and that by the Law of Nature, Occupandi
conceditur)
they would be like also in this, that as Gold to make it selfe
of
vse admits Assay, so they, that they may be tractable, mutable,
and currant, haue to their allay Falshood.
VIII.
Why
Venus-starre
onely doth cast a shadow?
S
it because it is neerer the earth? But they whose
Profession
it is to see that nothing be done in heauen without their consent
(as Re-[?] saies in himselfe of Astrologers) haue bid Mercury
to bee neerer. Is it because the workes of Venus want shadowing,
couering, and disguising? But those of Mercury
needs it more; for Eloquence, his Occupation, is all
shadow
and colours; let our life be a sea, and then our reason and Euen
passions are wind enough to carry vs whether we should go,
but Eloquence
is a storme and tempest that miscarries: and who doubts
that Eloquence which
must perswade people to take a yoke of soueraignty
(and then beg and make lawes to tye them faster,and
then
giue money to the Inuention, repaire and strengthen it) needs
more shadowes
and colouring, than to perswaqde any Man or Woman to that which
is naturall. And Venus markets are so naturall, that
when
we solicite the best way (which is by marriage) oue perswasions
worke not so much to draw a woman to vs, as against her
Nature
to draw her from all other besides. And so when we goe against Nature,
and from Venus-worke (for marriage is chastity)
we
need shadowes and colours, but not else. In Seneca's
time
it was a course, an vn-romane and a contemptible thing
euen
in a Matrone, not to haue had a loue beside her husband,
which though the Law required not at their hands, yet they did
it
zealously out of the counsell of Custome and fashion,
which
was venery of Supererogation:
Et te spectator
plusquam
delectat Adulter,
saith Martiall: And Horace,
because many lights would not shew him enough, created many Images
of the same Obiect by wainscoting his chamber
with looking-glasses:
so that Venus flyes not light, so much as Mercury,
who creeping into our vnderstanding, our darkenesse
would
bee defeated, if hee were perceiued. Then either this shaddow
confesseth
that same darke Melancholy Repentance, which accompanies; or
that
so violent fires, needes some shadowy refreshing, and Intermission:
Or else light signifying both day and youth,
and shadow
both night and Age, shee pronounceth by this that shee
professeth
both all persons and times.
IX.
Why is
Venus-Starre
multi-nominous, called both Hesperus and Vesper?
H E Moone
hath as many names, but not as she is a starre,
but as she hath diuers gouernments; but Venus is multinominous
to giue example to her prostitute disciples, who so often,
either
to renew or refresh themselues towards louers,
or
to disguise themselues from Magistrates, are to take new
names. It may be she takes new names after her many functions,
for, as she is Supreme Monarch of all Sunnes at large
(which
is Iust) so is she ioyned in commission with all Mythologicks,
with Iuno, Diana, and all others for Marriage. It may
bee
because of the diuers names to her selfe, for her Affections
haue more names than any vice: scilicet; Pollution,
Fornication,
Adultery, Lay-Incest, Church-Incest, Rape, Sodomy, Mascupation,
Masturbation, and
a thousand others. Perchance her diuers names shewed her
appliablenesse
to diuers men, for Neptune distilled and wet her in Loue,
the Sunne warmes and melts her, Mercury perswaded and
swore
her, Iupiters authority secur'd, and Vulcan hammer'd
her.
As Hesperus she presents you with her bosom vitale,
because
it is wholesomest in the morning: As Vesper with her bonum
delectabile, because it is pleasantest in the Euening.
And because industrious men rise and indure with the Sunne
in their ciuill businesses, this starre calls them vp a
little
before, and remembers them againe a little after for her businesse; for
certainely;
Venit Hesperus,
ite capellæ:
was spoken to louers
in the persons
of Goates.
X.
Why are
New Officers
least oppressing?
V S T the
old Prouerbe, that Old dogges bite sorest, bee true
in
all kind of dogges? Me thinkes the fresh memory they
haue
of the mony they parted with for the place, should
hasten
them for the re-imbursing: And perchance they do but seeme
easier
to their suitors; who (as all other Patients) do
account
all change of paine, easie. But if it bee so, it is either because the
sodaine sense and contentment of the honour of
the place,
retards and remits the rage of their profits, and so hauing
stayed
their stomackes, they forbeare the second course a
while:
Or hauing ouercome the steepest part of the hill, and
clambered
aboue Competitions and Oppositions they dare loyter,
and
take breath: Perchance being come from places, where they
tasted no
gaine, a little seemes much to them at first, for
it
is long before a Christian conscience ouertakes, or strayes into an
Officers heart. It may be that out of the generall disease
of
all men not to loue the memory of a predecessor, they
seeke
to disgrace them by such easinesse, and make good first
Impressions,
that so hauing drawne much water to their Mill, they
may
afterwards grind at ease: For if fro[m] the rules of good Horse-man-ship,
they thought it wholesome to jet out in a moderate pace,
they should also take vp towards their Iourney's end; not mend
their pace
continually, and gallop to their Innes-doore, the Graue;
except perchance their conscience at that time so touch them,
that
they thinke it an Iniury and damage both to him that
must sell,
and to him that must buy the Office after their death;
and a kind of dilapidation if they by continuing honest
should
discredit the place, and bring it to a lower-rent, or vnder-value.
________________________________________
FINIS.
________________________________________
These
ten
Problemes, may bee
printed: this fiue and twentieth
of October, Anno Domini, one
thousand six hundred thirty and
two.
H E
N R Y H E R B E R
T.
